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The Atheist and the Bear
An atheist was taking a walk through the woods. "What majestic trees! What powerful rivers! What beautiful animals!" he said to himself. As he continued walking alongside the river he heard a rustling in the bushes. Turning to look, he saw a 7 foot grizzly charging towards him, and he starting running as fast as he could up the path. Looking over his shoulder, he could see that the bear was closing in on him. His heart was pumping frantically and he tried to run even faster, but he tripped and fell to the ground. Rolling over to pick himself up he saw the bear raising his paw to take a swipe at him. At that instant the atheist cried out: "Oh my God...!"
Time stopped. The bear froze. The forest was silent. It was then that a bright light shone upon the man and a Voice came out of the sky saying: "You deny my existence for all of these years, teach others I don't exist, and even credit creation to a 'cosmic accident.' Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament? Am I to count you as a believer?!?"
The atheist looked directly into the light and said: "It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask you to treat me as a CHRISTian now, but perhaps, you could make the bear a CHRISTian?"
"Very well," said the Voice.
The light went out, and the sounds of the forest resumed. And then the bear lowered his paw, bowed his head and spoke: "Lord, bless this food which I am about to receive and for which I am truly thankful. Amen."
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GOD ENJOYS A GOOD LAUGH!
There were 3 good arguments that Jesus was Black:
1. He called everyone brother
2. He liked Gospel
3. He didn't get a fair trial
But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Jewish:
1. He went into His Father's business
2. He lived at home until he was 33
3. He was sure his Mother was a virgin and his Mother was sure He was God
But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Italian:
1. He talked with His hands
2. He had wine with His meals
3. He used olive oil
But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was a Californian:
1. He never cut His hair
2. He walked around barefoot all the time
3. He started a new religion
But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was an American Indian:
1. He was at peace with nature
2. He ate a lot of fish
3. He talked about the Great Spirit
But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Irish:
1. He never got married.
2. He was always telling stories.
3. He loved green pastures.
But the most compelling evidence of all - 3 proofs that Jesus was a woman:
1. He fed a crowd at a moment's notice when there was virtually no food
2. He kept trying to get a message across to a bunch of men who just didn't get it
3. And even when He was dead, He had to get up because there was still work to do
Can I get an
AMEN!!
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